The truth about being a parent


Meghan Oeser from the USA loves her husband and children more than anything, but she's still thrilled when she gets the chance to head off for a long weekend with a few of her girlfriends. Even though it's great to have kids, they're a lot of work. Thankfully, Meghan hasn't lost her sense of humor amid the chaos. She wrote this wonderful set of instructions for her husband before she left.

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"Dearest Husband,

I'm writing this to you out of love, not fear. I wanted to go over a few things with you before you embark on this weekend alone...with the others.

Nighttime, daytime, breakfast time, and somewhere around lunchtime can easily be mistaken for pure HELL, with Satan coming off as a My Little Pony in comparison.

First things first...

Upon arriving home after work, things won't seem so bad. The others will hug, jump, and for the most part, be pretty excited to see you. This will be short lived...I promise. School season or not...this is also known as hell hour. The others will fight about anything and everything, with Quinn and Penny being the biggest instigators. It's most likely that Quinn will be pissed off about Penny wearing her Elsa dress, and Penny equally pissed off because Quinn will ONLY refer to her as Anna. Penny will also be fighting sleep, which I'll get to later.

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Dinner will suck. Bailey will want pizza, while Harper will ask for hotdogs. Quinn will cry when you say the word hotdog, and will insist on Mac n cheese (but not the orange kind or the white kind, but the purple kind). We'll be fresh out of the purple kind, so she'll then ask for toast. You'll already have started making mac n cheese for Penny, but since she heard Quinn ask for toast, she'll also want that toast. You'll end up tossing the Mac n cheese because Bailey got the stomach flu 5 years ago after eating the orange kind, and Harper prefers the white kind. You'll also forget about Harper because her friend Lily "unexpectedly" stopped by, so they went ripsticking down the street. Everyone will eat cereal for dinner, and Lily will come inside for a Band-Aid.

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